My roommate left for Hawaii and the guy I am currently dating recently just left to go back to California. I stayed in Arizona and have been isolating myself and have not seen anyone. For someone who works remotely and from home, I didn’t think that it wouldn’t make a difference. Well, I was wrong. It’s been about a month and a half and I feel like a part of me is going crazy. I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. I thought that the Zoom calls and happy hours would suffice until we were able to get out of this thing. But I think I just mentally broke down.
This year I had plans to go to New York, France, Italy, and Asia. I was so excited! I kept telling myself that this was going to be MY year. I knew that it was the year that I would accomplish all my goals. Well, coronavirus hit hard and all my trips got canceled. It felt like all my goals were officially postponed until 2021. For someone who is so goal-oriented, this made me go bat shit crazy. I became depressed. I started caring less about my health, the way I looked and just didn’t give two shits about anything anymore.
Then one day, I just broke down. I couldn’t take it anymore. I started to take it out on the people I loved. It was an absolute mess. I went to California for a bit and came back. I just needed to see the Ocean. I soon realized that I had a lot of work to do and that quarantine was the perfect time to do it. The first couple of days home made me realize the following:
Dress up for you, no one else
So often we get caught up in dressing up to look good for others. I realized that dressing up and feeling beautiful comes from within. It’s about dressing up for yourself and no one else. It’s about making yourself feel good and happy. We have a tendency to ask our friends if something looks good. Though this may seem like such an innocent act, we have to realize that we don’t need the validation of anyone. If we feel beautiful in something, who cares what anyone else thinks
Self Love is an ongoing practice
In a world telling us what perfect should look like, it’s so easy to forget to see the beauty within yourself. With so much time on our hands because of this quarantine, there have been times where I go on Instagram and I end up becoming insecure because of how the media portrays what we should look like. Self-love starts with appreciating your own beauty. Feeling loved and secure from within and radiating that so that no matter what happens, you still feel confident in yourself
Personal Improvement is constant
The first year I got out of a serious relationship, I was so adamant on trying to figure out how to be a better person. I read books, listened to podcasts. I practiced my affirmations every day. I meditated every day and I really just started falling in love with myself while working on a growth mindset. Somewhere along the way of getting to my dream job, I lost it. I lost it and needed the validation of my significant other to show me that he cared for me. Personal improvement, just like self-love, is a constant practice. It’s all about improving yourself daily. Working on things you know you need to improve on. For me, one of those things includes having a growth mindset in everything in life, not just my career, but in my personal life and personal relationships as well.
A virtual therapist is the best investment I’ve ever made.
I have so much built-up trauma from my childhood that I had bottled up for years. Until recently, I did not realize that it affected my relationships. It’s easy to talk to your friends about your problems but talking to a therapist allows you to see it from a more grounded and different point of view and take the appropriate action to heal yourself from your childhood traumas.
I think this year is a year of healing and focusing on self-love ❤️ hope y’all are handling quarantine well. I truly believe that this year can get better. It just starts with believing in it and working towards a better you.